Q Throw it off the highest building, and I'll not break. But put me in the ocean, and I will. What am I?
A A tissue.
|
BREAK!!!!
S.....!
Q I run over fields and woods all day. Under the bed at night I sit not alone. My tongue hangs out, up and to the rear, awaiting to be filled in the morning. What am I?
A A Shoe
|
Want need know!!
| Q The man who invented it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it? A A coffin |
HOLES ALL AROUND !!!
Q I have holes in my top and bottom ,my left and right,and in the middle.But Ican hold water .what I am
A A Sponge
A A Sponge
Maths
Aaj se 300 saal pehle MATHS bahut masoom aur pyara tha.
Ek din kuch badmash students ne MATHS ko bahut maara... itna maara, itna maara ki bechare MATHS ki jaan chali gayi. Lekin jaate jaate MATHS sab students ko ek baddua de gaya... Main to ja raha hoon lekin..."MATHS"
M = Meri
A = Aatma
T = Tumhe
H = Hamesha
S = Satayegi
Aaj bhi maths ki aatma bhatak rahi hai aur saare students ko sata rahi hai aur hamesha satati rahegi.
The big book
Ek baar ek ladka ghar mein sharaab pee kar aaya aur apne Dad se bachne ke liye ek badi si book lekar padhne laga!
Dad: Oye nalaayak, aaj phir sharab pee kar aaya hai kya...?
Son: Nahin Dad, bilkul nahin, kyun?
Dad: Kamine, toh phir pichle 10 minute se breifcase khol ke kya bak-bak kar raha hai...
Bad luck !!!!
A man who owned a local grocery store was out delivering orders in his station wagon when he hit and injured a little, old lady. The lady sued and was awarded an amount large enough to drive the man out of business.
After difficult times he managed to accumulate enough to try again. But a few months after opening his doors he struck an old gentleman with his delivery truck. The gentleman sued and collected big damages, enough to ruin the merchant yet again.
On a peaceful Sunday, the grocer was sitting in his living room when his little boy entered and called out, "Father, Father, Mother's been run over by a great big bus."
The grocer's eyes filled with tears, and in a voice trembling with emotion he cried, "Thank the Lord, my luck's changed at last."
Whats in a name
Ek baar ek ladka barsaat ki raat mein ek aunty ko, jo bus stop pe khadi thi, ghar chorne chala gaya.
Ghar pahunh kar aunty ne ladke ka shukriya kiya aur boli: Beta raat bohut ho gai hai, tum yahin BITTU ke kamre me so jao!
Ladka bola: Nahin aunty mein yahin SOFA par so jaunga.
Agle din Subah ek bohut hi sundar, hot ladki chai le kar aai.
Ladka: Aap kaun ho.......??
Ladki: Me BITTU hun. Aap kaun.....?? Ladka: Main saala ullu ka pattha....
Matlab
palak: guthi didi ...automatically matlab??
.
guthi : aare palak.. agar koi aadmi ganja
hota hai tou ussko kya bolte hain..
.
.palak : taklaa..
.
guthi : aur agar koi ladki ganji ho to ussko
kya bolenge...
.
.palak: takli..
.
guthi : aur wohi ladki agar auto mein
baith kar kahin ghoomne jaye tou ussko
kya bologi ??
.
palak : auto mein takli… aare haan
automatically !!
Tum kitne samajhdaar ho didiii....
Business !!!!
12 reasons why I chose Business as profession:
1. I hate sleeping.
2. I have enjoyed my life in childhood.
3. I can't Live without Tension.
4. I wanted 2 have a disturbed life.
5. I believe in Geeta "karm karo fal ki chinta mat karo".
6. I wanted 2 take revenge on myself.
7. I love dreaming about, delivery, payments, orders.
8. I like spending time with staff, customer, govt babu than family, friends.
9. I love giving bribe.
10. I love 2 work on holidays.
11. I can't live without mobile hooked on my ears even in the bathroom. and the best one
12. I love begging for payments.
RUN N WALK !!!
Q I can run but not walk .Whenever I go thought follows close behind .What I am??
A A Nose
A A Nose
IN N OUTSIDE!!
Q You through away the outside and cook inside . Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?
A A chicken!
A A chicken!
COWBOY !!!
Q A Cowboy arrives at the ranch on a Sunday ,stays 3 day ,and leaves on Friday .How ?
A As the horse name is Friday.
A As the horse name is Friday.
Juice !!!
Q Why did johnny jump up and down before he drank his juice ?
A The carton said "shoke well before drinking
Invisible Man!!!
Q Why does the invisible man turn down a job?
A He just couldn't see himself doing it .
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